As I wander about like a little squirrel, gathering all of my belongings, shoving them into this container or that, ensuring each little piece is put away somewhere or other, I can't help but notice that I'm not very sad. I'm not sad to put my things away for an extended, undetermined about of time. I'm not sad to sit in my almost naked room and see minimal amounts of my own things. Over the years and through many many moves, I've learned and trained myself to treat things just as that, things
. There are the few that have sentimental value, and those you treat well, but even those, are still just things.
I feel that you can gain the sentimental good feelings from a thing, keep them within your heart, and then release the attachment to the thing. Therefore, if there were ever a fire and everything you owned burned to a crisp, of course you'd be upset, but not nearly as deeply to the core as if you truly believed that you need to have each thing in your hand to truly understand the value of it.
Anyways, enough talk about things. I want to talk about people! As I'm being a busy little squirrel, and seeing that I seem to work best under pressure, of course I've left a lot to the last minute, I'm noticing a lot of love and support around me, as well as sadness. People are sad to see me go. This brings two emotions to me, one: gratitude, that I have had the joy of influencing their life enough that they will notice my departure, and two: excitement! Even though I know I will hit that homesick stage, and of course I will miss my amazing friends and support network, I just...can't... wait!!! At this moment, I don't miss anybody and I don't feel sad. I am excited to let go of things I don't know. I am excited to move past the lifestyle that I have here, and move onto a new one. Maybe I'll like this new one more, maybe I won't? Nothing but time will tell.
I am taking extra steps to reach out to those that I love and let them know that, even though I may not be showing it, I am going to miss them, I just need some time to miss them! I am asking everyone for their mailing addresses because a. it feels good to receive a piece of snail mail that isn't a bill and b. it's a simple and enjoyable way that I can remind them of how much they mean to me! I wouldn't have the strength, courage or ability to be going on such an amazing trip without my support network! They are amazing!
So as everyone is saying goodbye to me, I will be saying hello to New Zealand. Looking forward to a life unknown. :-D