"Do What You Love...Love What You Do"

Where in that quote does it explain how to pay your rent? Buy food? Develop a sense of financial security? Hmm, that piece may have been left out, no?
When do you know and how do you decipher between the things you need to do and the things you need to let go of? When is giving up on something an active, progressive and positive choice, and when is it simply wimping out? How much negative is one to endure before it is socially acceptable to LET GO!?
I recently spent three months working at a job that at first, it was okay. It was a means to an end, it supplied some funds, it allowed me to meet some locals... it was okay. Then as time went on and it became a part of my daily life, I noticed it was soaking up every ounce of my positive energy and hiding it far far away from me. Within five minutes of arriving at work I would feel desperate to just "get out".  Even sometimes simply walking to work, the act of moving my body closer to such a negative place, would take my chipper, happy, sunny, on-holiday mood and absolutely butcher it. I became irritated, moody, negative, complainy... you know, and all around joy!! :-S 

But... it paid the bills.  And there were hours for me.  I had truly tried hard to find something, anything else as a means of income, but being the wrong season in a small summer surfer town, I was constantly rewarded with a big fat "nothing now". 

I began to lose sight of why I am here, in New Zealand. I am here for a working holiday. Yes there is the word "working" in there... but I know that there are many forms of making money that do not need to be considered "work", as long as you find what you enjoy doing! 

So...how long is the "right" amount of time to endure such horrendous conditions? Was I being a baby, a wimp, for wanting to leave? The past five months have been a true holiday for me, minimal "work" involved.. so was this me having to "pay my dues" for all the freedom I previously enjoyed? Or was I being an idiot to stay somewhere that made me so incredibly unhappy?
I don't know the answers to my questions. 
I don't know that anyone does. 
But, this is my story:

After many many many squabbles in my head about what was the right thing to do, I made the decision to quit. No activity in my life should generate such unhappiness. Yes it brought me some money (it was basically my only income) but there is NO way that money is THAT important in my life. I would much rather have no money and feel happy and grateful for my life than to be rich and feel hollow. 
Anyways, back to my quitting. I strategically planned my exit in my head, I wrote the letter, I told my friends, I prepared Luke for a fun-employed and broke-as Deanna, I made it real. It felt great. It felt amazing. It felt...free. 

My heart-rate raced, my cheeks flushed, I began to perspire and I could feel my pulse in my ears. I placed my letter on the desk. FEWF! It's done!

And then... interesting things began to happen to me. The catering company that I had worked for very casually began calling me for more shifts. I found a fun weekend promotions job online and they fit me in. I was called for an interview at a coffee shop. I got the name of someone at a call centre who was looking for staff. So many positive things, especially concerning making money, began to fall into place. All because I had let go of that negative tumor and opened myself up to accepting new positive beginnings in my life. 
it's in your hands!
It's scary to let go of anything. It really, truly is. But how do you know that letting go of one negative thing isn't going to bring you five more awesome things? You never know until you take the leap and just trust that you can make it work!

09/10/2012 8:50pm

Hey Beautiful! Once again your words hit home and inspire! Where someone your age gets wisdom like yours I will never figure out. I wish you could make a wisdom drink and share it with the world. Decisions are amazing things and we often take far too long to make them..It seems to me you are giving yourself the freedom to choose. I love that! I went to my first "Zumba" class tonight and although I was bouncing around not knowing what the H_l_ I was doing, it felt great and I know next time will be a little better. Change is usually a positive thing. (:xo

brenda mackintosh
09/11/2012 12:04pm

sometimes we are stuck in situations where we do have to endure things we don"t want to be doing, but it always helps if you can find the little things in those times that you will look back on and say that has taught me this in my life, or hey that was actually kinda fun. but always keep your eyes open for those new opportunities that change your life and make you grow some more, . It"s so neat reading your life thoughts dea, because it opens my eyes up to the things i"ve done hard or easy as they have been they make the person you are today, and you my girl are a very special person. love ya

Jeff Zack
09/11/2012 2:11pm

Awesome! I couldent agree more. There have been several situations in my life where i felt stuck doing something that made me very unhappy, but felt like there was no way out. As soon as i made the scary leap of faith things just fell into place. Its very true, you need to be happy in what you are doing in life. I can say with confidence that i am happy 100% of the time, always smiling, always in a good mood. Everyone says thats impossible. I say BRING IT ON!! Im glad you've made the right choice and the universe is rewarding you for it :)


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